Post Published: September 18, 2023

There were some things
on my mind
before bed,
like how
I’d rather ignore you
until
you make a move instead.
Like how I’m always lost
in a fantasy most days,
living 1/8 of my life
inside of my head.
Like how fate
can’t be quantified
but I know what I know,
and how I can never find
the right words,
or what my actions
don’t show.
And I spent a few moments
diving beneath,
into my own layers
to see
how far I could reach
and the pain was so much
that I couldn’t
soothe myself
properly.
For I hadn’t the touch.
And in my sleep I dreamt
of my efforts
to make amends and
at the end of it
I didn’t even get
any of the attention
that I’d wanted
so much.
Ruth Nineke, 2019
Tell me what you think before we both die