love, Ruth Nineke

There Are No Implications

Post Published: August 23, 2023

Nothing is ever implied.

Statements are made. Ideas are expressed. All intentions are personal to the speaker. Meaning is inferred.

You can read my writings and have your own interpretations about what I meant. But unless you engage in honest conversation with me on the subject matter you can only make inferences.

Inferences are your own.

There are no implications.

This thought train started with the patriarchy, and how individual men react to the current swell of anti-patriarchy discourse. It’s almost as though the potential threat to end a societal way of being is a direct threat to all men everywhere. And so what if it is? What exactly is it about the end of patriarchy that frightens men?

Is it because they’re completely aware of the imbalance of equality, respect, and power which exists and has thrived for centuries? Is it because the loss of this macro sense of power would demand individual men to develop individual identities based on personal morality, principles, and values? Is the idea of self-definition overwhelming? Is taking accountability for everything you do and believe just a little too much work, when your mommy’s always folded your laundry?

I cannot say. I’m not a man. I haven’t directly benefited from my gender automatically earning me authority, respect, career assistance, or professional connection. And I’ve certainly never once failed upward. I couldn’t imagine the terror of considering a world where I had to haul ass, hustle, fight, shout and stand out for every single gain I’ve ever gotten. Well, it would only be a terror to consider if I’d never had to do it before and the prospect was looming above.

Lucky me, I’m a woman. I got to do all that hauling, hustling, shouting, and fighting from the gate. Not that anyone really likes it. I’m always too loud. For others.

Anyway, let’s not digress.

The way that men squirm and try not to wince at the inevitable demolition of patriarchy, you’d think someone shouted BLACK LIVES MATTER in the middle of a police academy graduation.

And here is the parallel: Blue lives don’t exist but white people do. White people enjoy white privileges – whether they see race or not, whether they want to admit they benefit from it or not. They got it and we all know that they do. And men – yes, ALL MEN – also know exactly what they’ve got inside the social hierarchy.

Everybody knows.

But it’s never outwardly declared. There is no law, no plain historic record that says:

“We Live In A Patriarchal Society. The comfort and desire of the “Male” ego are central to the function of our society. Boys’ futures are priority. Girls and women must adapt to all threats of violence coming from men. Men must be protected from their failures.”

There is nowhere I know of that states that explicitly. But is it implied? If so, who implied it and when?

I suppose we could look at historical data and wars fought, and colonialism, and all of those things. We could conclude that a natural consequence of violence is submission to violence. We could make that inference based on the data provided by history, yes.

And here, we come to the marrow of the thing.

All of us, regardless of “gender,” are able to make inferences based on the data (or stimuli) we’re presented. We can see, hear, or read something, and internally form an idea in response to that. Which is why I often say people are not nearly as stupid as they pretend to be.

People are conditioned to be duplicitous as a means of safety. So they feign ignorance. But they’re not stupid.

So when anything happens – abuse, violence, discrimination, inequality – it’s not that anything is ever implied by it. What happens happens. People are bullied. People are raped. People are killed. People are looked over for jobs. People are underpaid. People are unfairly sentenced. People are denied opportunities and robbed of their futures.

What we as individuals infer, and then do, about these things is what creates change. Do we choose to not “see it that way,” do we choose to say “that’s how it is,” and adapt? Or do we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, and confront our individual need for safety?

What good is your safety if you do nothing of consequence with your life? What value does your safety hold inside of a structure that you know harms others? Is your individual safety more valuable and more important that anyone’s?

Can you define equality in your own words? To yourself? Can you define your own moral code? And do your morals have any implications?


 

Tell me what you think before we both die

 

 


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