I used to imagine that passion was
what I wanted most
A desperate tempest,
a thunderous and storming love,
Someone consumed
by their need for me,
an incurable lust
A fiery
deep down inside
burning, raging
connection
whose severance simply
would never do
And then I grew up,
and I rejected every flickering
lick of drama,
Every hint of back and forth,
every ping pong
table top
match of emotional tennis
Let the others play their juvenile games
for attention
I wanted something more
than the ordinary fair,
something far stronger
than the usual,
youthful butterflies felt
in a co-ed daze of wild
nights, and trivial,
circling cycles of demented,
and drunken fights
I want the beauty that lays itself
bare
And unashamed, in comfort
beside the truth
that tender hearts are very rare
and seldom ever
fully recover
Vulnerable in these moments,
aching through the elusive
pleasure of being nurtured
I have found
just the thing
I believe we all actually
crave:
Calm,
peaceful and pure
A kind and demure gentleness
which appreciates in silence
and grows powerful with space
I have tasted the kiss of a lover
who’s waited,
who’s blessed me
and cleansed himself,
to feel serene in time’s passing
and without pressure
or manipulative asking,
had released in me a vision
brighter and crystalized,
So much better than wishful thinking
I have been graced a most perfect
validation,
a hunch confirmed
by the murmured confession
that the future is painted
with love
in spectacular color
and only through the layered
lining of one’s heart
with patient and steady faith
can we reach the place
and feel at home
March 13, 2020
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