love, Ruth Nineke

The Instability

Post Published: January 17, 2023
A preview from   Sex Acts And Emotional Problems

Caitlyn hated the instability being unemployed was already causing her. It was nearly five in the morning and she couldn’t sleep because she didn’t know the next step in her life. She wasn’t someone’s girlfriend anymore, nor was she a promising Junior Placement specialist. She was just Caitlyn, twenty-three, and in debt – which was the worst part.

It would be one thing, she thought – her mental merry-go-round gaining speed – if I’d just been fired, and didn’t owe a company with a sweet Southern woman’s name a fuck-ton couple thousand dollars. If I actually had money in my savings account I could pay my rent, and relax until I found a job I loved… I should take up crochet, and make blankets with Mom, and sell them online.

Caitlyn would find a job. She was smart, capable, and ambitious – even if she didn’t know what for yet.
There was that deep and sudden unknowing again; a long drop into an undefined future, echoing up at her with each thought. Even if she found a job that paid more than Higher Bracket, and knocked out her loans in six months, ultimately she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life.

And it scared her.

 


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