Post Published: June 23, 2022

Originally posted to Facebook 2018, Featured in Hati-Hati, published 2019.

I miss all the beautiful things

Things I didn’t know were beautiful

Like coming home late on a summer night

Like riding in your friend’s car on the Grand Central

when you’re both too drunk

And smoking weed on a bed sheet over the wet grass

at Cunningham Park

Sadness is beautiful too

In its own way, in the way that it is a most loyal companion

Despite all your best efforts to deny and diminish its existence

And thwart all the circumstance which bring it into your life

But it’s beautiful still because sadness reminds you

of love and of hope and of the magical

wildness of your youth

It reminds you of your strength

When you sit with it and recall the times,

Good and bad, when you flew through life

Through your small corner of the world

Doing everything you could not to be in pain, and so your sadness was

The wind, literally, beneath your wings

Your old friend

Come to sit with you at three am and remember

When you had no idea who or what or how you were going to turn out to be

And yet your sadness gave you everything you needed

So beautiful things are always there I suppose

Tell me what you think before we both die