Post Published: October 30, 2022

I’ve met someone

No one new, just

Someone I already knew but

Who I could and would very much

Love to know more than

I already do and much more

than any of the others before

And the fear is always there

Every day, every afternoon

When you wake up after

A bender spent with your baser

Half and your lower vibe misfit

Not-quite actual friends

You know the type

The ones who can always find a gripe

But who all give their best pretense

After drink number nine or ten

And then you wander through

The relentlessly inevitable phase

Of denying the pain that always comes

Last choice, low fruit, easy picking

Not worthy of being loved

Oh you know the stuff

And I know we’ve all felt it

Sometimes, once in a while

In some inescapable way

And then by accident but

Really by the only magic that’s ever been

The random turn of events,

The eternal rolling of gears,

Sands sifted through the cosmic hourglass

That one fateful second

Chance encounter comes along

Sashaying down the street

The bright orange lights adorning

The return of endorphins

And so we meet again

In this silly place with our silly faces

And suddenly all my needs are out

And ready to leap, ready to be

Exactly as they are fulfilled.

What a fucking thrill and what

A thrilling fuck

But besides that junk and the singalong

Song and dance of my nonchalance

I yearn, near desperately to trust

My guts this time, steady and ready

To be improved so far so good

I’m poised to remove my excuses

What if I could be the person

Who didn’t pretend

Who didnt lose wind

Who didn’t mask and quit

What if I could be the person who gave it all

Who created the safest space

What if I was home

February 14, 2020

Tell me what you think before we both die