I’ve met someone
No one new, just
Someone I already knew but
Who I could and would very much
Love to know more than
I already do and much more
than any of the others before
And the fear is always there
Every day, every afternoon
When you wake up after
A bender spent with your baser
Half and your lower vibe misfit
Not-quite actual friends
You know the type
The ones who can always find a gripe
But who all give their best pretense
After drink number nine or ten
And then you wander through
The relentlessly inevitable phase
Of denying the pain that always comes
Last choice, low fruit, easy picking
Not worthy of being loved
Oh you know the stuff
And I know we’ve all felt it
Sometimes, once in a while
In some inescapable way
And then by accident but
Really by the only magic that’s ever been
The random turn of events,
The eternal rolling of gears,
Sands sifted through the cosmic hourglass
That one fateful second
Chance encounter comes along
Sashaying down the street
The bright orange lights adorning
The return of endorphins
And so we meet again
In this silly place with our silly faces
And suddenly all my needs are out
And ready to leap, ready to be
Exactly as they are fulfilled.
What a fucking thrill and what
A thrilling fuck
But besides that junk and the singalong
Song and dance of my nonchalance
I yearn, near desperately to trust
My guts this time, steady and ready
To be improved so far so good
I’m poised to remove my excuses
What if I could be the person
Who didn’t pretend
Who didnt lose wind
Who didn’t mask and quit
What if I could be the person who gave it all
Who created the safest space
What if I was home
February 14, 2020
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Tell me what you think before we both die
