love, Ruth Nineke

Good Advice Is Never Wasted

Post Published: April 19, 2023

Today, I met a psychologist, and Tarot reader who’s been having a wave of recent bad luck. She’s educated and intuitive, and she wonders if perhaps someone’s put some black magic on her. Where I live, it’s not an uncommon suggestion. Sometimes we joke about it. But if you’ve ever had any experience with the invisible stuff, you know very well how unfunny it can be.

We chatted for about half an hour and I suggested she practice grounding, and reinforcing her energetic protection. These are exercises you can include in your meditation practice. Before we parted ways, we talked a little more about one of her problems and I told her she had to decided what she wanted the outcome to be.

But I also told her I knew that was difficult. Of course, t’s easy for me to see what steps she needs to take from the outside. Someone asked me what I wanted most last month and it threw me down several different spiraling rabbit holes I didn’t ask for! And I’ve managed maybe a grand total of 40 minutes of meditation in the last 40 days. So I’m not exactly in the position to tell anyone what they should do, am I?

Here’s the gag though: I love to help other people, because I know just how bad it can feel sometimes. It being life. It being business. It being love. It being self-confidence. Pushing through hurdle after hurdle, after hurdle. Atlas on that god forsaken hill. I know that place well, and I really believe that as dastardly as my hills and hurdles have been, I have the strength to lighten someone else’s burden just that one little bit.

Usually, it’s with advice. Sometimes it’s through work. But more than anything it’s through my words and communication, attention, time, and energy.

And one thing I never fuck around with is my time and energy. In that way, despite my shotty meditation, I’m always protecting myself. You can waste your time and energy, but you will not waste mine. Because I know exactly how big it is and how good it is, and how powerful.

That aside. I was looking through old text messages to see if I could find an instagram password, and I came across this message I sent in November to a former client (who’s now blocked – for wasting my time):

[…] shift yourself more in the direction of what you really want. Anyway, I definitely feel like I’ve given you a bunch of tips and direction. Hope you have a positive next few weeks. Maybe once things get in order for you we can eventually work together. Remember, you have to show up everyday consistently after what YOU want for yourself. Attention from strangers on the internet will never equal the satisfaction of creating your own future πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½ Push yourself everyday. Push yourself toward your dreams ✨✨✨

Validate yourself. You won’t feel it for real until you for real focus on YOU and the work.

Throw away wanting attention Kill that part of it. Immediately.

I wish you would become obsessed with YOURself and creating art. Everything else will fade away when you start giving yourself and the art the attention. I wish you could see and believe and LIVE THAT. become obsessed with creating. πŸ™πŸ½

You can literally do it right now. Nothing is stopping you except you avoiding yourself.
Unpack that thru art. I have worked with a lot of people in your exact situation.

Just make art and become consumed by the art.

 

I blocked that “client” because she was one of several consecutive fake-flakes who say they want to start a website, or go into freelance, or upgrade their shop, but when it comes down to it, they’re either not coming with the money or they’re not coming with the effort. I had a hard and fucked up summer and fall and I’m not gracious enough to tolerate people like that.

And speaking with this one in particular was just back to back to back excuse and avoidance and lies (stories she told herself that she thought I would also believe?). And I really just once wanted to see her say something she meant and back that up with an action that matched. If I could have seen that effort, I would’ve built her the site and let her pay me back later when she started earning. I’ve done that before. I’m nice like that.

Alas. It was good advice at the time, and it felt so wasted on her. But good advice is never truly wasted.

Six months later and as the wheel turns, it would appear all the advice I give anyone else is advice that ultimately serves me the most. The words I share are perfectly timed reminders to myself. It’s almost like all of us are little mirrors to one another, saying what we need to hear and showing us our own fears as well. And if we can catch that, then anything we say and do for others actually becomes a gift to ourselves.

I might not yet be able to sit up right and quiet my mind for 20 minutes straight, but this is what 45 minutes of yoga will get you hey.


 

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